I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were shot in all the other games. It'd be called 'Really Busy Hospital.
Demetri MartinThe thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Demetri MartinWhen they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!
Demetri Martin