It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.

Clowns have no respect for pie.

When watering your plants, try to talk to them - say something like, Hold it right there and then shoot them with water gun.

I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'

I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.

I would like a ship for the hips, please. Ships and hips. Hipsters to stir with their hips on the hip ships. And, of course, hips. Yeah, hip. That's me. I also like sips. I'm a slow drinker. A sipster. I'm a sipster hipster comedian. Yeah, sips. But more hips. Hip, hipster, hip star, hiptard. Definitely.

Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.