I think statues are great; they show what great people would look like if a bird sh*t all over them.
Demetri MartinIf someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'
Demetri MartinI want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.
Demetri Martin