It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.

I wasn't the class clown, but I was starting to become the "crazy guy" at law school, which is the guy who is not so much "crazy" as "annoying."

To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.

Someday I will tell my grandchildren that I lived in the era when OK was abbreviated to K.

If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.

I need to develop some patience - immediately.