Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.

The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, 'I apologize.' Except at a funeral.

A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

Whenever I see an autobiography for sale in the book store i just flip to the about the author section. I'm like, "Done, next!"