A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.

I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.

I went whale watching once. It was very similar to watching people on a boat become disappointed.

One time I saw an old man in a hurry and I thought, 'That makes sense.'

I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.

I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.

Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?