The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.

Vampire fad just won't die. Makes sense, I guess.

Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.

I was watching MTV and there were girls dancing in suspended cages. That would be an ambivalent situation: "I'm trapped! ...but enjoying the music".

When I used to go on the Wikipedia page, and I haven't gone on the page in a while, there used to be some guy who was doing my page and he would say that he was my cousin and I was going to be doing projects with him. I don't know who this person is and I don't have a cousin by this name and this person keeps saying that they're doing projects with me. It's so weird.

If I make my window ten days for stand-up, the conclusion is that I failed and that I'm not good at stand-up. If I make it ten years - if I just wait - the conclusion might be something totally different. I think it's so cool to do things in which you discover the malleability of your own mind.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.