When I used to go on the Wikipedia page, and I haven't gone on the page in a while, there used to be some guy who was doing my page and he would say that he was my cousin and I was going to be doing projects with him. I don't know who this person is and I don't have a cousin by this name and this person keeps saying that they're doing projects with me. It's so weird.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

'Dammit I'm mad' is 'Dammit I'm mad' spelled backwards.

The definition of adventure depends upon how boring your life is.

The best way to make somebody feel important is to try to assassinate them.