I was student council president in high school, and even in law school, I was vice-president of the student bar association.

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!

For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.

To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!"

To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.

I don't know what the long form of OK is. I wanna think it's okie dokie. 'I'm okie dokie. I'm a little shaken up, but I'm okie dokie.' 'The good news is, she's okie dokie. The surgery went fine.'

A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay.