I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

I need to develop some patience - immediately.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

When I first heard the term 'training bra,' I was freaked out. I was pretty young and I said, 'Did you just say training bra? They're training their chests? I had no idea.' See some lady, her boobs are everywhere. 'What's her deal?' Those are untrained titties.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.