Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

A human head looks the least scary when it is attached.

Whenever I try to spell 'banana,' I feel stupid because I don't know when to end it.

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

I'm afraid of sharks - but only in a water situation.

Cottonballs are an example of something I'd want to buy, but not have as a nickname.