It is interesting that the black BMW is the preferred car of so many assholes.
A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.
I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'
I'm a body builder, but I don't use weights. I use snacks. It's kind of a different building process.
Brought to you by raising your voice. The next best thing to being right.
I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.