If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat!

When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!

I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks. By the fourth week, I found it tedious. I got bored and grew restless. I had no other plan for a job, because from seventh grade on, I had planned on law. So I shifted my focus from classes to extracurricular activities.

It's weird the way "finger puppet" sounds okay as a noun... ladies.