When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed... But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings.

I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.

Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?

I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

Relationships, like eyebrows, are better when there is space between them.

At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.