When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed... But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings.
Demetri MartinCotton balls is an example of something I would buy, but not want to have as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, on the other hand, is something I would buy and want to have as a nickname. 'Are you Cinnamon Buns?' 'You bet your sweet ass I am.'
Demetri MartinA pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.
Demetri MartinYou never forget your first kiss. And that's what makes it so hard to forgive my uncle.
Demetri Martin