Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

If only loud people were even half as interesting as they think they are.

And as far as actors go, Peter Sellers is my all-time favorite.

I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?

When I'm buying car insurance I ask myself, 'Which company has the most annoying and relentless commercials?'

I have a time machine at home. It only goes forward at regular speed

I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.