Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

When you're wearing an animal costume and something bad happens, your facial expression doesn't change. The animal is deadpan the whole time. If you're skiing in a gorilla suit and you fall, you just see a gorilla who has no emotion. It's just a stoic gorilla, wildly falling down a hill, out of control.

I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands.

As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress.

A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.

What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!

One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.