Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.

It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.

Most stick people are black.

If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'

My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.

I was eating some candy and looked on the wrapper, and it said made from natural and artificial flavors. You could just say flavors.