To look like you are a real sports fan, when there is a game on TV just yell, Oh, come on! every now and then at the TV.
Demetri MartinI can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.
Demetri MartinMy original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.
Demetri MartinI am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery.
Demetri MartinI've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.
Demetri Martin