I love Steven Wright.
A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.
Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?
Planning trip around the globe, that is in my room.
How to be a bouncer: be an asshole; stand near a door.
You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?