My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.

If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'

To remove all credibility from what you're saying try wearing sunglasses on your forehead.

Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

I can always tell how stupid someone is by how certain they are about what they're saying.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.