My original goal was just to do stand-up but then I became interested in films - writing a film, shooting one someday, and getting to act in them.

Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.

It's interesting to be an adult and to have that level of ignorance about something, because the nice part about is you get that discovery. The learning curve is so rich and steep.

Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.

I've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.

I wanna put stickers on turtles... I don't know why.

Villains fear me because I am unpredictable and broccoli. See what I mean?