If you stretched the average person's intestines out from end to end, it would make them scream a lot.
Demetri MartinWhen there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?
Demetri MartinTiming is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.
Demetri Martin