There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.

Whenever I throw caution to the wind I make sure I'm facing the right way so that it doesn't blow back and hit me in my face.

There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.

Clowns have no respect for pie.

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.

I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.

You are ten times more likely to get hit by a car when the driver is aiming for you.