There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.

I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.

When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed... But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings.

I don't want to be my own boss. I want to be my own colleague.

To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!"