There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.

If you really think about it, hitting the snooze button in the morning doesn't even make sense. It's like saying, 'I hate getting up in the morning-so I do it over... and over... and over again.'

I am sometimes referred to as Excuse Me in an annoyed tone of voice, because apparently I am in the way. I am so sorry. I am supposed to be some sort of mind reader, I guess. I am moving out of the way now as slowly as I possibly can. I am doing this and there's nothing you can do about it.

You can say 'Thanks,' and you can say 'Thanks a Million' - but any number in between?

When a Dalmatian sees a cow he must be like, 'What the hell happened to him? I am high right now. That dalmatian is fat and smeary.' When the cow sees the Dalmatian he must be like, 'He looks amazing. I am so out of shape, this is ridiculous. My tits are on the ground here.

Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'

It's always helpful to remember that in the grand scheme of things you are much more important than... um, wait, than... something, maybe.