Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
A cool tattoo design is any drawing that would also look good saggy.
99.99% of all castles in America are located in fish tanks.
If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.
A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.
For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.