I've never read an article of clothing.

I think the most annoying language is a tie between all the ones I don't know how to speak.

I just started doing this one-man show, and I wanted to be able to score it, so I bought a guitar, and got a keyboard and got a harmonica. I remember when I started that I didn't understand why a harmonica had different letters on them.

The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me.

I got some new pajamas with pockets in 'em. Which is great, because before that, I used to have to hold stuff when I slept. But now I'm like, 'Where's my planner? There it is. "Keep sleeping." All right, perfect.'

It's Thursday and it really feels like a Thursday. Sometimes things just work out.