I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

My family was fine, it's just a different way of going about life. Creativity was not something that was isolated and identified and valued.

Let no man's deathbed be a futon.

I love Steven Wright. I was in high school in the '80s, and there was a lot of stand up on television.

I want to commit a crime during a reenactment, and turn it into an enactment.

The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.