It is impossible for a cyclops to wink.

I think they should put pies on the fronts of trains, so that when they hit something it's at least a little bit funny.

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don't have to hold things when I sleep.

Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.

Last week I lost my temper in my karate class. Man, I'm not doing that again until I'm a black belt. Because I can tell you there's a difference between taking karate and receiving karate.

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

A glove is a very literal looking hand puppet.