I like to stand near ATM machines, and when somebody types in their pin number, I go, 'Got it!' And then I run away.
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.