At the battle of the bands the loser's always the audience.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

A large portion of the Earth's land area is taken up by old varsity jackets.

You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else's house.

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

I saw a dog wearing a sweater and I thought that looked ridiculous 'cause dogs don't have arms. If you're going to put clothes on the dog, you should put two pairs of pants on it.