I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

I wonder if there were any goths in gothic times. They're like: You look completely appropriate. You don't look stupid or lonely at all.

The Pursuit of Happiness: It sure seems to like a good chase, doesn't it?

They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.