A know-it-all is a person who knows everything except for how annoying he is.

I love having an open seat next to me on the train. What's even better is when my seat is open too because I just stayed home.

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

When someone asks you the question 'Are you ticklish' it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, cause they're going to touch you. If someone asks if you're ticklish and you don't want to be touched you should something like 'I have diarrhea, now don't touch me cause you'll make it come out... and yes I'm very ticklish'.

My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.

A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.

Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.