At the battle of the bands the loser's always the audience.
If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.
I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?
Halloween: the day each year when strangers give you even more specific reasons to dislike them based on what they are wearing.
Knights would have probably liked refrigerator magnets.
If someone throws a pie at your face, just open your mouth really wide and say, 'Thanks for feeding me, a**hole.'