I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and said "I have good news. You have severely underestimated that door over there. By like a hundred percent."

I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.

When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop.

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.

I'm a producer on my show, which is great, but it's also kind of a mixed blessing because there's so much responsibility. Everything is a decision. You have to worry about the money, you have to worry about daylight, who we're going to cast and if this location doesn't work out, what are we going to do?

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.