There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.

I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.

I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.

It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.

One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.

I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary.

If you want to make a mythical creature, just take a regular animal and add wings to it. A horse becomes a pegasus, a lion becomes a griffin, and a hawk... becomes a double hawk.