If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.

I went to law school. I found it interesting for the first three weeks.

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.

It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.

The lord works in mysterious ways. Indeed. And a shorter way to say that is: God is a sneak.