At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.
It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
Everything I ever learned I was told by someone else.
I'm not a lawmaker, but I was thinking that if you have a really loud ring tone, maybe you should be stabbed in the ear?
Having a beard is a good way to make your face more susceptible to velcro.
I bought a clock, but the big hand broke off of it... so I just added "ish" to every number.