Hot Potato is a very different game when the people playing are starving.

I love Steven Wright.

Man is the most powerful creature on the planet. And we're arrogant. I mean, people own birds. It's like, there's a creature with the gift of flight. I want it. I'm going to put it in my kitchen and make it crap on old information.

If you want to dry hump someone you don't know, just act like they were choking.

I love motor learning because it's very basic and primal. A lot of what I like to learn correlates with the opposite of what gets you laid. I can ride a unicycle and I can juggle. These are unimpressive things to know.

There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.

One thing you never hear is "Man that guy is good at badminton".