It seems that man's greatest natural enemy is the target.

Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people’s hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better.

I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.

If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.

To be creative, first I need to be really organized. If my apartment's messy I need to clean it. It's like before you start doing your homework or studying for a test, you have to have a clean room.

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.

When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.