Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.

I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.

I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.

The problem with most people, is that they are most people.

When I was in high school I experimented sexually. The experiment was to never have sex with anybody no matter how hard I tried. Success! Hypothesis confirmed.

Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

Our Times, a Brief History: As televisions became flatter, People became rounder.