Palindromes are the number one conversation stopper, like party killer, I think I've ever seen.

Everybody knew that you should never provoke a rattlesnake, much less tie it into a bow. But that didn't stop Judd. What did stop him was the rattlesnake.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'

When a couch potato is sliced up and then deep fried that is couch french fries.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the dog's owner - and the distance you are from your car.

The earth without art is just eh.