I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.

I can tell how lonely I am by how easily I'm fooled by a mannequin in a store.

Use crazy glue and nails to turn a rocking chair into just a chair that looks like a rocking chair.

I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

If I had a bookstore I would make all the mystery novels hard to find.

They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.