A pipe is greater than a bong. Because when you're smoking a pipe at least it makes you look like you're thinking about something.
Demetri MartinI am a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a pita. Why the pita? That counts as another mystery.
Demetri Martin'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like... after "I love you"... or "You're going to live."
Demetri MartinRight before I'm about to talk at length about something I like I say, Get me started.
Demetri Martin