I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.

And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.

Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

The sofa is the enemy of productivity.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, "Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good." Hopefully it balances out.

For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.