I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'

It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, but then I remember that my show was canceled three years ago.

The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

A musical is the same as a burlap sack, I would not want to be in either

When I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.

Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That guy won a gold medal in the Olympics" "Oh yeah, that's cool, i wanna watch the fat guy" "Come on dude, you can take that hill"