I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

It's hard to know what's gay in life. Boxing. That's two men fighting over a belt.

I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.

They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.

To remove blood stains from your conscience try frozen margaritas.

I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children.' I was like, 'That sounds like a fair trade - especially if they're crappy kids.'

I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything.