You always hear about the guy who was raised by wolves. You never hear about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. The problem is, you have a non-wolf imparting wolf teachings.

Batteries are the most dramatic object. Other things stop working or they break, But Batteries... They Die.

I went whale watching once. It was very similar to watching people on a boat become disappointed.

Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

There are very few songs about just liking someone as a friend.

I want to make a revolving door that says 'Pull' on it, just see how obedient people are.

A lifevest protects you from drowning and a bulletproof vest protects you from getting shot, and a sweater vest protects you from pretty girls.