I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.
Let no man's deathbed be a futon.
I wish my name started with a comma. That would be so dramatic.
Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?
There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.
I like when people wear a WWJD bracelet, because it's like an example of the first thing Jesus wouldn't do, probably.