You always hear about the guy who was raised by wolves. You never hear about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. The problem is, you have a non-wolf imparting wolf teachings.

'Dammit I'm mad' is 'Dammit I'm mad' spelled backwards.

When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.

I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old.

Timing is everything. That's a cliche. Now. If I'd said that a long time ago, I'd have been original.

To make a squirrel look less uptight, put tiny sunglasses on it.

I just found out that I have more allies than America!