Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.

And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.

'Dammit I'm mad' is 'Dammit I'm mad' spelled backwards.

A Rubik's cube is equal to a drag queen. It's really colorful, but I don't wanna do it.

The difference between a child's toy and an adult toy is: location, location, location.

There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.

I think a lot of people who watch TV don't realize when they're watch TV shows and it says 'produced by' and producer, producer... there are all these producers. What the hell does a producer do? It's funny how much you have to worry about as a producer.