My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.
Count your blessings, but not out-loud, at the top of your lungs.
If you are wearing a bandana you better have something wise to say, because you are starting with a credibility deficit.
I like digital cameras, because they enable you to reminisce immediately.
Most stick people are black.
As a comic, I think I'm very verbally oriented about a lot of the stuff that I've written or thought up and how I say it.