The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what you can get out of that.

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

When I stub my toe it's like I pressed a button that plays all the curse words I know.

The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.

I would like to have windshield wipers that do the whole windshield, please.