You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.
Demetri MartinThere are jokes I know I want to tell, and there's sort of a rough order, but usually I try to change it up every show, to improvise and talk with the audience. I think when you tell jokes, if you're not careful, you can end up telling the whole list of jokes and then that's it. And that can get a little boring.
Demetri MartinWhen I look up at the clouds I see so many animals, mostly sheep who have lost their limbs and heads.
Demetri Martin