I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.

I have an air mattress. It's great because if someone tries to suffocate me in bed I can just poke a hole in it and use it to stay alive.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

For me, possibility, progress, growth, those things are very.. they feel very good. It doesn't usually come with negativity. I don't really mind sucking at something as long as I'm getting a little bit better at it along the way.

Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.

If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half.

I wonder if it's rude for a deaf person to talk with food in their hands.