I never went bungee jumping. The closest I did was I was born.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

I think a bad place for a fire would be the factory where they make those trick candles.

For example, I was a White House intern the summer before I dropped out of law school. Everybody knew about it. I'd come home and go to church and everybody would say, oh, my God. Demetri, you're working at the White House.

When there's someone who's dead and then someone does something that that person would not have liked, they say that that person is spinning in their grave. But I don't understand why they say that. Why is spinning the way that a corpse shows disapproval?

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.