Automatic paper towel dispensers are a solution to something that was never a problem in the first place.

THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the police sketch artist. This is one of the rare instances where two people can do one self-portrait.

Canoe + waterfall = I don't go camping anymore.

I always try to just be honest ... As opposed to artifice or manipulation.

Your mind is like a sponge, in the sense that it would come in handy when cleaning off a countertop or something like that.

For some reason cowboy sounds better than cowman.

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.