At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.

How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.

Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast.

People and squirrels are very different. Most people will not argue that. But I find that there is one situation in which they're very similar. And that is: when I am driving towards them in my car. Then they're kind of hard to tell apart - especially if the human is kind of hairy.

Never forget where you came from. That's what I think when I walk into a cave.

And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money.