Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.

When I am given a multiple choice test I choose not to take it.

I have never been in a bad mood and near a beach ball at the same time. Causation? Correlation? Or fate?

If you drink enough beer, everything turns in to a bed.

Here is a tip for all you young people drinking wine. With pasta, drink white wine. With steak, drink red wine. And if you're vegan, you're annoying.

I like people, for a little while.

Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?