I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.

This is a pie chart about procrastination.

I didn't do improv in college, I never performed, I didn't do theater either. I was in student government, I was a history major.

And my only rule being if when I wake in the morning I'm looking forward to the things that I have to do that day, then I'm on the right track.

I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.

I'm so secretive that when someone asks me, Hey, can you keep a secret? I say That's none of your business.

The plastic knife is perfect for when a person just wants to make some marks on his food and get insanely frustrated at the same time.