A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

What's this about rice milk? I didn't even know rice had nipples!

I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.

I think they named the orange before the carrot.

There is no I in Team, unless you count the vertical part of the T.

I like video games, but they are very violent. I want to create a video game in which you have to help all the characters who have died in the other games. 'Hey, man, what are you playing?' 'Super Busy Hospital. Could you leave me alone? I'm performing surgery! This guy got shot in the head, like, 27 times!'

The sofa is the enemy of productivity.