A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.

You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.

Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill.

I am a man. And I am former baby and a future skeleton, and I am a distant future pile of dust.

Fire truck with back end on fire drives really fast in circles.

When you're wearing an animal costume and something bad happens, your facial expression doesn't change. The animal is deadpan the whole time. If you're skiing in a gorilla suit and you fall, you just see a gorilla who has no emotion. It's just a stoic gorilla, wildly falling down a hill, out of control.