I never set out to do a sketch show.

I go the gym and I try to run on the treadmill and I listen to music but it doesn't motivate me enough. So I'm going to get a recording of a pack of wolves gaining on me. People would be like, 'Why is that guy crying on that treadmill over there?' 'I don't know, but he's been yelling, 'help' for like 20 minutes. He's getting a good workout.

Cotton balls is an example of something I would buy, but not want to have as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, on the other hand, is something I would buy and want to have as a nickname. 'Are you Cinnamon Buns?' 'You bet your sweet ass I am.'

Villains fear me because I am unpredictable and broccoli. See what I mean?

Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.

A refrigerator is the opposite of a drug addict, because a refrigerator starts in a box and then moves to a house.

I like shorter jokes. I like fewer words. I think the more ideas there are the, the fewer words there should be.