I never set out to do a sketch show.

Wind chimes are also earthquake chimes.

Once I started to look i finally began to see.

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

Yes" actually means "No" 100% of the time, when the question is "Can I give you some advice?

If I ever saw an amputee getting hanged, I'd probably just start calling out letters.

Coffee is like a bra. 3 cups is one too many.