I've learned something on the road, traveling around: state shapes. The easier it is to draw the shape of the state, the harder it is to live in that state. So, if you live in a regular polygon, get the hell outta there. You gotta move to a squiggly area. Culture's attracted to squiggles.

It would be interesting if Elvis were reincarnated as an Elvis impersonator.

I just found out that I have more allies than America!

I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

I was a good student when I was a kid, and I did everything I was supposed to do, and I got A's.

Rock is fine. No structural damage to rock. Rock can break through paper at any point. Just say the word. Paper sucks.

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.