The earth without art is just eh.

If I think of a joke that's really dirty and I think it's funny I'll try it but what I've found over the years is they just don't laugh. It doesn't work coming out of my mouth so it's like they taught me 'don't do that. Don't go that way or you'll lose me.'

One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an asshole.'

I believe in empathy. When religion provides that for people, it's the best thing in the world.

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool.

Statistics indicate that the average American is a guy named Brian who lives in Ohio.