The earth without art is just eh.

I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians - they knew a lot about comedy growing up.

It is a little ironic that one thing a babysitter should not do is sit on a baby.

To make even fewer friends try talking about politics as much as you talk about yourself.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

I love Steven Wright.

I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.