I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'.

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.

I've met a few people who were passive-aggressive, but I've never met anyone who was aggressive-passive. I don't want tacos! Maybe.

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.