To get strangers to hate you even faster, crank up the volume on that very interesting ringtone of yours.
Demetri MartinArtistically, I find jokes really satisfying aesthetically, because there's something great about getting an idea down to a sentence or two.
Demetri MartinWhenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
Demetri Martin