It's very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you're dead, and I'm going to say that's got to be a letdown.

At any minute, I am four minutes from a poncho.

I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.

I thought I would, you know, go to college, get to law school, finish, and then get a job and work as a lawyer, but that proved to be not a good fit for me.

My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Don't talk to strangers. Sure, unless you want to meet anyone ever.

I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.